Sleepless Thoughts

I’ve never seen anyone outside my family sleep before.

Let me rephrase that.

I’ve never watched anyone sleep before. Even from members of my family.

Today, I just witnessed the man I love sleep soundly in just five seconds.

Let me rephrase that again.

He went into deep slumber and snored heavily.
Apparently with the exception of his sleepless days before presenting his thesis in college, he has never been wide awake for twenty-four hours.
I’m an expert on sleepless nights. I mean, come on, look at me:


I’ve had days where I just spend hours outdoors drinking, catching up on films, jogging even, attending food trips with friends, or with him, or with my sister, and basically doing anything I can think of to make my day or days off worthwhile. I even went to a concert and felt alive the whole time.


See? I looked fine there and I held one of the greatest conversations I have had in a long time. I even drank beer several times and not a single eye closed (except whenever I blink). But this guy, this man I love, he fell tired. The most exhausted, I think, he’s ever been.

I know all this lack of sleep is gonna toll on me, and he’s being a good example of a healthy person by making sure he gets his eight hours full of sleep.

So what do I do to get myself to sleep? It’s like preparing for a marathon, where instead of going for a full body’s stretch I go for a few minutes (or maybe about 60 minutes, really, or maybe about 120) of tiring my mind. I’d go play a couple of games on my phone, like City Island 1 and 2. I don’t use cheats so I’m still on level 45 on CI1 although I’ve been playing this for 2 months and level 34 on CI2 because I’ve reset my land three times and the only time the way the streets and the walkway and the waterway seemed okay was when my artsy twin sister played it. Once I’m done getting all the coins and upgraded some of the properties I move on to 2048. I’ve only been able to get 2048 during Practice Mode, but I’m always close to getting it on Classic Mode but my brain cells don’t seem to work well when I’m about to sleep.

So basically it’s simple. I have to work my brain cells out to get to sleep. But he? He only needs about 5 minutes to get to sleep. He just closes his eyes and voilà!


Responsible Reader

Not all poems
Are about love.
This one screams
About troubles in dreams
Soccer players in teams
Lips covered in coffee foams
Like trees that rise above.
I meant to fill these words
With lingering feelings
Whatever swords I choose
In this dream, I find one appealing.
I’d rather doubt this feeling.
Remorse, remorse, remorse.
All these tremors I’ve been feeling.
Our concourse has ended.
You and I and her appended.


Pretend less, read more

This makes me even sadder.

The History Woman's Blog

nerd-glassesSince being a nerd has become cool I don’t like it any more. Big glasses are no longer the indicator of a visual impairment caused by too much reading, and pasty skin is less likely caused by long hours spent in libraries, archives or labs. It’s more likely the result of an overpriced holiday in Finland and cleverly applied make-up.

It is now socially acceptable, even hip, to be seen sitting by yourself in a murky café reading Camus. It is even more so if you’re wearing a baggy jumper you found in a charity shop, while frantically scribbling notes into your Moleskin notebook or are indeed staring into your MacBook. Not even questionable personal hygiene or unkempt hair are a safe indicator that the person next to you is a borderline genius.

On the other hand, real nerds are now heading to the gym to fight the pen pusher’s…

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The Fellow

I want to feel important,
As important as the avenue
I want to be somebody
As important as your revenues.

I’ve been dreaming
High and low
Like the river streaming
I’ve been thorough

Whatever gold or silver
I earn
The heart yearns passion
My mind will never quiver
For every thing I learn.
Even if the times will be over.

The times will be tough
People can be rough
When the bough breaks
You can’t be the one who cakes.

My last words to you, my fellow
Don’t put name to blame
This isn’t just a game
It is life, my fellow. It is life.


Tales of the Unemployed

Episode One


I have no idea who you are and you probably have no idea who I am either. But if by chance you happened to drop by this post and was probably interested with the title, I am glad and at the same time disappointed. I am not sure how to please you so please be reminded that this blog is not something that will please you. I just merely want to take note of an important milestone in my life which I am sure will be kept on the internet as long as the internet exists. If it doesn’t and if by chance you are the kind of person who is interested in keeping this data for personal use then go ahead and do it. Just don’t put it under your name. I’m sure people who know you won’t even believe you.


TODAY I have decided to start anew by quitting my job as a corporate slave. Am sorry if I may have offended you, but that’s exactly how I feel. Working as a corporate slave offers a thousand tasks and a thousand hours each year just to earn half of what your rich businessman brother earns each year. All he ever has to do is go home with vegetables at hand, cook, and make people healthy or fat. Well, I’m sorry if I have offended you, brother, in case you happen to read this you spying son of a gun (our mother is not a gun, am sorry mom if ever you read this). I am aware that your business is a well craft of your talents and many people are grateful that your food exists. I am just jealous of how much money you make. I’m sure you understand. You told me about this when we were drunk one christmas eve when I got voted Student Council President in high school while you were never even considered.

And so, I have been dreaming of this day. I will wake up to the sound of chickens playing and making stupid noises from our neighbor’s backyard, to that couple who sells newspapers in a fast motorcycle (the one that I can never chase), to the smell of pandesals being sold in the morning, coffee being made, and the sun rising and smiling in between two cumulus clouds as if telling everyone that it is the most brightest star in the universe which it already is.

Today, I did wake up to the sound of roosters in the morning. Check. The couple that sells newspapers in a motorcycle has now upgraded into a tricycle (I still cannot chase them. Check.). Pandesals are no longer available since it’s already seven-thirty in the morning. Nope. The the two cumulus clouds are up in the sky, covering the sun. Great. They’ve now turned into Cumulonimbus clouds.

Looks like you can never really get what you want in any ways possible.

I am yet to figure out ways on how to make the next day much more, possible and exciting.